Monday, November 23, 2009
Here is what I want to believe is Mallory's fate, and no one can tell me otherwise:
Turkeys mate in long-term in pairs. We have (had) two females and one tom turkey. Shawn, our resident tom, took to Melissa (Mallory's sister), thus making Mallory the third wheel. Mallory embraced being single, running about the farm doing crazy s#!* like taunting the dogs, and letting two years olds pet her. Then one day she took a walk down to the creek bed.....
Out of the mist appeared a young, roguish tom turkey. He was a wild turkey, not tethered to a hen house, or a five o'clock supper time. He introduced himself as Thor, and complimented Mallory on her plumage. "What's a pretty girl like you doing out here all alone?" asked Thor. Mallory explained that she was misunderstood back on the farm, and that her only friends were a redheaded midget and a noisy hound dog. Thor asked her to come away with him and be "his lady". Mallory obliged. She hopped on the back of Thor's motorcycle...eh...crap, turkeys don't drive motorcycles. She got in his Camaro and drove off, barely glancing back at Dammit Farms.
One day, after many, many months, Mallory will stop by the farm again. She will tell me she's okay and show me her babies. We'll have a cup of tea and talk about the old days, then she'll go back to her life in the wilderness with Thor.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
The result from the time change seems to be that every creature on Dammit Farms now has a F*#%&# up schedule. The human children have been particularly cranky and unpredictable. Who suffers the most? Me. I am hallucinating from lack of rest. I found myself standing in the yard this morning, wondering why I had walked out there. I had to go through a mental checklist " feed the chickens? no. I'm not carrying garbage, or anything that needs to be disposed. That's not it. Are the dogs misbehaving? Did I come out to yell at them? mmmm...nope. Waffles! Waffles from the deep freeze! That is why I came outside."
From my understanding daylight savings began during World War One, as a way to optimize productivity in factories, which were mostly lit by the sun. It has little importance now, and actually costs us more than it saves....plus it's a pain in the a$$.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Why these dudes are rocking 'staches....I have no idea. It negatively afftects their Hottie McNasty status. Is the 'stache in this year? Last year it was the beard. I told Jason that beards were in style according to "Rolling Stone", and he shaved his lumberjack beard the next week:-) Apparently he is too cool for trends.
Jason, don't get pissed at me for writing that.
Anypoop, I love love love this band.